Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hippo gnu deer
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
