Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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