Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
