So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
