that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Vodka?
Forever.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
