she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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