It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
