I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
