dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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