all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We are two peas in an std pod
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You are the jesus of drinking
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
