dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
