bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
