Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
