He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
