i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
