Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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