If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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