So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
