Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
