five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would ride that face into the sunset
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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