It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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