this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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