He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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