i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
