Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize