At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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