yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
