Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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