Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
