I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
