i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
