good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
