I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
