You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Please don't give away my fajitas
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