I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
