There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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