If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
