I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
