What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize