My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
