yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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