# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
