I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
