I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
