she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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