he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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