Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize