U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you will always have a special place in my vag
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
