I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
