Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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