i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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