3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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