Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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