Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
