Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
