Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
