did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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