I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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