He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
