I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
