suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
