Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can't turn off my feet"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
