so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize